So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
