Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
