i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
