I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
