he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
my being single is dangerous.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
