I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
