im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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