It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
