So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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