Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
