Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize