we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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