some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
