Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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