Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
