This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
