how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize