dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
