did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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