I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
