Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You brought string cheese to the strip club
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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