awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
