That's intense
farters have to be the big spoon...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
