Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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