god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
