have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
