It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
