he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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