There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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