so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
sick fucks of a feather flock together
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize