Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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