Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
