my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
