There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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