i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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