just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
