Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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