i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
