whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
