New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
