found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
