Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
