great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
