there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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