Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
is that a dick in a sweater?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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