dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
