end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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