You can't motorboat a personality
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
