Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
