He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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