she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
