Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
