I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
