just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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