The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
