Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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