I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
