Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have feelings that need drinking.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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