Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
