I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
