i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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