I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
