I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
